Monday, June 11, 2018 Sicily, Italy

I can't even remember how many years I've tried to keep a journal.
Influenced by the nineties movies and tv series - Roswell, anyone? - I always thought having a journal was cool. The idea behind writing about your daily life, the crush on the boy next door, friends drama, the first drink, the first cigarette, the first kiss and then the second one or about that time he tried to hit third base with you that night when kissing sounded like a forbidden and dirty thing to do and you were twelve and didn't know exactly what was going on. Then the pictures of him right next to the pictures of you, because you wanted to prove you really looked good together. And you did but he was a douche and never really got to spend another day with him after that.

You see, I'm quite a nostalgic person, I basically keep living and reliving the past in the fear that somehow it could disappear, with a better answer than the one I gave back then and the middle finger waving in the air, right on his face. It's fascinating, really, to go back to things that you barely remember and find all those gems inside your journal from years ago.

Twelve year-old-me also thought that a journal had to be pretty. She used to drag her mom around hunting the next best diary that had a locker and keys. I was thrilled. I felt like I had all those dirty secrets that really weren't that secret - that locker fooled me - and that only the bottom of my mattress knew. But the chance of me actually writing in it and finishing an entire journal was very small, almost non-existent.

Growing up I finally understood that keeping a daily journal wasn't for me. I didn't like the routine that came with it, especially because some days nothing happened and stressing about what to write wasn't the best for my anxiety. 

So I came up with something different. After watching videos after videos - seriously, I was so addicted to Youtube! - of people making art journals, I really wanted to experiment it myself. I've always been fascinated by art, the process of making something out of nothing thrilled me - I was always the kid with a pencil in hand and glue in her pockets - so I tried.
I slowly found out that sometimes writing song lyrics was even better than writing, and that putting together pieces of scrap paper was really fun.
I also got into poetry and blackout poetry and writing all my work inside the pages of my journal made me really conscious of what I was doing: creating.
I was making things that weren't there before, I was giving another life to old pictures and magazines and using old books that I didn't need anymore to make poetry.

I found out that journaling isn't just writing about your day, it's not complaining about that girl that really pissed you off; it's about creativity. It's about seeing and making and giving a new life to what is stored in the cupboard under the stairs. It's a way to free yourself from all the anger and it's also a way to make your mind run a hundred miles.
It's where you can pour your heart out and make it cry and laugh with joy.
A journal is where all the wild things are.

You can check out my Instagram where I post some of my own poetry as well as updates on my journal spreads!

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